A Conversation with My Conscience:
$10 an hr on a job just isn't enough. Can you bump it up to at least $20 an hr? Because a sista needs to eat steak with the beans & rice. That was my mindset. Through all the sleep deprivation & depression I had going on this year, I had to find strength to pick myself up from the bullshit & think to myself like, "bitch, you've got a meal ticket in your wallet. Get your muh fuckin hustle on. You weren't ready for this 15 yrs ago but you're ready now". "But I don't want to drive trucks anymore. I'm done." "Why do you still have your CDL?" "Because I worked hard for that shit!" "Ohhh so I see. You did all that hard work 20 yrs ago for nothing. 🤔" "Nah. I mean. Nah. I still have my CDL just in case I need to use it." "Just in case is now." "I fucking hate driving truck!!! Fuck that truck!!!" "But you also miss driving for money. Come on. Give it a try. Here are some reasons why you should go for it. 1) You ain't making shit at this job. Hell, you can't even afford to get your own place. 2) You love driving. 3) You can drive all year next year & not drive during the Winter months. 4) You can pay off that car within a few months. If you choose to become an owner/operator, you can pay off the car within a month. 5) You can finally live the life you want to live. Your own place, a romantic relationship, & travel. You've already move out of Georgetown. Don't move back there. Make this shit work! Do this for yourself. You can do it now. You went through a terrible ordeal in a truck 20 yrs ago but you've moved past that. You're mature now. Your mind is still good. Drive that truck. That CDL is your meal ticket. Put it to use. You can eat steak with healthy foods. Fuck the rice. Yeah fuck that damn rice. The world is your oyster, girl. Go get it. 6) A handful of people got angry with you this year. Forget them. You asked forgiveness. It's up to them to take the next step in your relationship or if they choose to leave, let them go. Let those muh fuckas go. Find you some friends; which you've already have. Thank God for that. ❤️ Ohhhh I see you have your eyes on one of them. 💕💕💕 Tell them how you feel but be cool with it. Don't move too fast. I agree. That person seems kind of cool. The world is your oyster, girl. Go get it."
[on the phone]
"Hello? Hey. I filled out an application to work for you. Can you tell me about your driving programs?"
"Yeah. You're going to be fine."
"That muh fucka she's been eyeballing is finer than a muh fucka. Damn! We can do some things, bitch!"
"Damn hormones. Get the fuck out of here! Fucking horny ass!"
"You know I ain't lying, dog. Just look!"
"Yes, that person is very attractive. We must keep our cool."
"Aight. But I'll be back like The Terminator in this bitch."
"Yes. He only speaks with his hands."